(Semi) Professional Skills Profile

Before I moved overseas, a friend advised that I would go through a six week period and a six month period. She told me it would take me about six weeks to stop feeling like I was on vacation (no more “honeymoon” phase!) and six months to truly feel at home and settled. I’ve found this to be true in reverse, as well. About six months after my plane landed, I stopped walking around with a lost feeling and smacking the outside of the bathroom wall to turn on the lights.

Since returning to the States, I’ve experienced about as much as I could: anger, frustration, sadness, joy, laughter... I’ve traveled to see friends. I’ve been in two weddings and watched my “niece” start to crawl and take her first steps. I’ve drank heaps of coffee and spent many a day sitting down, staring at nothing, hoping for an angel to drop my next big assignment in my lap.

With Ashley (Jane Bradley Photography)

With Katie

Look at this adorableness! (Jane Bradley Photography)

Hanging at the Muse... all the time.

    

After six months of (much needed) rest and stillness, during which I applied for countless jobs, the Lord provided a teaching job in a new city. So I’ve moved again and have started all over at discovering coffee shops, book stores, and parks, and making friends. But since everyone here speaks English, and I have a car, it’s not as difficult as you might imagine.

Throughout the process of my unemployment, I found myself consistently frustrated by the fact that I had spent two years overseas, learning skills and having experiences that were beneficial in so many ways but completely useless during my job search. There’s no logical place to put “sunflower field frolicking” on a resume and watching a lamb slaughter doesn’t fit too nicely on a cover letter. 

Sorry if you're disappointed I didn't put a picture of the lamb slaughter. 

But someone needs to know I have these skills.

So here’s a non-exhaustive list of skills I acquired overseas that I can’t necessarily put on a resume. (I asked some friends to send me their unusual skills, too, so not all of these gems are skills I acquired) 

• Using a squatty potty - as an in or outhouse, lined with porcelain or just a hole in the ground, with or without lights, with bugs crawling all over the walls, on a moving train, on a moving boat, as a place to take a shower

When you gotta go... you gotta go. 

• Haling a bus - hailing a cab is old news. I’m talking, standing in the middle of the road, sticking my arm out, staring down an on-coming bus and trusting the driver is going to stop and let me on.

• Catching a bus/tram/metro - Different from hailing, catching a bus tends to involve more panic and sweat. I am a semi-pro at sprinting for a bus with backpack and gym bag in tow. I can also stuff four kids onto a full bus and hold them on when the doors aren’t closing. I can leap onto a bus with shutting doors... extra points if it’s already moving!

I can make it!

• Packing and luggage - Only 10 kilos allowed in the carry on? I’ll have exactly that amount. The rest can be shoved into coat pockets or my friend’s suitcase. I can also keep up with my luggage through foreign airports, up and down stairs on a bus or tram, walking several miles on a cobblestone road. I can pack for a two year stint in three suitcases. 

Backpacks are generally the best option

• Ordering food at Subway and McDonald’s drive through without the use of English - Think about how many words it takes to get your sub just the way you want it. It took me nearly a year to get in and out of Subway without English with everything I wanted... right down to not toasted and light honey mustard. 

• Cooking overseas - think “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.” On top of mastering an oven that used vague pictures to indicate settings and the metric system, I can eat well without a toaster, microwave, can opener, flour sifter, pastry cutter, anything that includes the phrase “just add water, “ and with re-used Ziploc bags and a tiny sink. On top of that, understand that we make tomato sauce from tomatoes, pumpkin pies from pumpkins, and mashed potatoes from... un-mashed potatoes. 

• Doing the “Sofia Shuffle” - this is not a dance. This is defensive walking behavior. When a foot or more of soft snow covers everything and gets packed down into the cobblestone and marble sidewalks, walking becomes hazardous. The Sofia Shuffle is the only safe way to get to a destination without falling on your bum. (Warning: mastering the Sofia Shuffle does not guarantee you a fall-free winter)

• “No problem” - I could say this when my tram took a turn down the wrong track, and I had to figure out how to walk home at night, when the lady ringing me up at the grocery store decided I wasn’t going to get cheese and put it aside, when I didn’t have heat until December because someone in my building hadn’t paid their bills, and we all paid as a community, when the power went out randomly and stayed off for 10-20 minutes at a time. 

• Other skills include, but are not limited to: smiling and nodding for hours - knowing that a 30 minute walk is a short distance - arguing with taxi drivers and shop keepers about a fair price - defrosting a fridge with hammer and chisel - killing snakes with a bow and arrow - digging a shower drain - eating what’s placed in front of you - carrying eggs home in a bag - giving a good double kiss hello - saying no to over 200 marriage proposals 

Yummy?

Do you have any skills to add to the list?

In other news, I start teaching soon, so I'm hoping to start keeping up in my blog again. We shall see! 

Thanks Alyssa, Bethany, Cameron, Kendal, and Rebekah for your contributions!